Unconventional Therapy: Fall Festival
~Vlog version of this post is below.~
It all started with a dream.
A dream that reminded me of the kind of life I used to live before I decided to become a real Christ follower & let God do something with me. Suddenly, I felt guilty all over again, despite the fact that I’ve repented & stopped committing those offenses a while ago.
Repenting [yet again] that morning, I began to set out getting my day started; but there was one problem…my guilt had turned into self-condemnation, which then turned into borderline depression, which then resulted in me wanting to self-isolate & just stay in bed all day.
After the tears & self-loathing had begun to subside, I found the energy to finally get out of the bed, make breakfast & begin to look like a productive citizen. It was during that time when the Holy Spirit reminded me that the Family Fall Festival was happening that day & Maya (my niece) wanted to go. Before I could even protest, He also reminded me that self-isolation never worked for me before, so why not try something different & get out of the house. (Sometimes, I hate it when He’s right…& He is always right. Lol😅)
With that in mind, I started getting ready & we [my mom, my niece & I] left to go to the Fall Festival. Almost immediately I began to feel a change in my mood. It was in the mid 70s outside, with a clear, sunny sky & a light breeze. It was ABSOLUTELY PERFECT. The smell of popcorn danced on the wind as we checked in & began to walk around to see what all was out there. My niece left us & started exploring, hitting up every trunk for candy. Lol (Teenagers…am I right?)
After my mom tried setting me up with one of the firemen in attendance, who was handing out candy to the kids, we began to find a place to sit down. That’s when I ran into a friend of mine from my Sunday school class who was holding her infant nephew. We stood there & chatted for a very long time. I’m not much of a talker, so that took me by surprise. But as we kept talking (about nothing in particular) I noticed that I began to feel a little bit better than before. She asked if I wanted to hold the baby to give her a bit of a break (I work in the nursery at the church where he is under my care so it was fine). I readily took him & relished at him snuggling into me as he drifted off to sleep. It was at that point that I completely forgot about how horrible I felt that morning. I began to relax a bit more & be in/enjoy the moments as they happened:
From sitting in the shade with a baby sleeping soundly in my arms, to realizing how much being plant based really affects your body once you eat a hotdog for the first time in almost a year🥴🤢.
From getting a much-needed hug from an old friend I haven’t spoken to in a long time🥰, to getting to pet a Shiba Inu (I think this is my first time seeing this type of dog in person.)
To having a long conversation with another old friend I haven’t spoken to in a while & finding out from her that a certain gentleman I’ve had a crush on since I first met him is S.I.N.G.L.E. now😳👀.*
*Yes, I said “now.” I wasn’t lusting over this man while he was with his girlfriend, & I was genuinely sad for him when she said they broke up a while ago. They seemed pretty serious, & I respected that. However, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little bit happy to hear that he’s available. My friend doesn’t know I find him attractive, but my mom does. What I didn’t know, was how pleased she also was to hear that he’s single until I voiced my thoughts. “I always knew she wasn’t good for him,” are the words I remember my mom saying. Lol*
It's the end of the festival; majority of the people have already left & we [my mom, niece & I] are one of the last ones still there (to say I didn’t even want to leave the house 6 hours earlier…interesting how that happens🤔).
I remember walking back to the car feeling…light; both physically & figuratively. I couldn’t remember why I was so upset that morning. When I tried to remember, the memories either wouldn’t come up at all, or my mood & thoughts didn’t sour when they did. It was then that I knew, I was healed. And not only had God, already, forgiven me, but I also forgave myself (which are 2 things I often struggle with).
Holy Spirit knew exactly what I needed to get out of that funk I was burying myself in. He’s awesome that way😊💕. I’m thankful that I listened (this time), & that I was obedient (this time).
Next time you feel down or hurt about something, take a note out of Toph’s book & partake in some neutral jing—waiting & listening to see what the Lord wants you to do, what He knows you need, to turn that frown upside down &/or get a change of perspective on the situation.
I love you girl…in case nobody else told you today.
But, God loves you more…& don’t forget that, or I’m gonna hunt you down & sing Christmas songs until they get stuck in your head.
Sincerely,
